She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I believe in your delicious
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
