How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
