So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
