Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Can I color on your dick again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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