sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize