I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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