I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
