NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
