We're like a lot better than the average bears
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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