Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
