I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
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What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao