She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
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a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
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I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?