My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo