Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
