I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night