i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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