i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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