You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
