I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
