By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
