this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The air was thick with penises
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
