Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
