What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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