why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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