rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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