her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
