I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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