i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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