Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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