I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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