marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm always down for nudity.
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