i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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