did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
