the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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