He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
