you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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