im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
one might say we're banned from that church
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
