any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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