he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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