wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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