I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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