You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
