but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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