Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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