They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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