Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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