Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
