well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
