Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
