No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
