yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
