So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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