I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
