We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize