Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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