dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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