you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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