so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
