Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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