Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
