is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
