i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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