Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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