Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

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  (718): you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out http://tfl.nu/3q0w
  Replies (18) Good night (5290) Bad night (895)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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  (303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2
  Replies (12) Good night (825) Bad night (4658)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college

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  (314): Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college http://tfl.nu/eldf
  Replies (32) Good night (5668) Bad night (747)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (361) Good night (60303) Bad night (7497)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?

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  (205): Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in? http://tfl.nu/qt1z
  Replies (15) Good night (5281) Bad night (874)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired

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  (902): I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired http://tfl.nu/suui
  Replies (19) Good night (3366) Bad night (975)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink

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  (210): I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink http://tfl.nu/9ici
  Replies (9) Good night (8092) Bad night (1247)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

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  (561): definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful? http://tfl.nu/v0si
  Replies (11) Good night (3331) Bad night (1303)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.

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  (260): I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box. http://tfl.nu/twf4
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (2373)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Well... this vagina won't eat itself

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina

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  (306): Well... this vagina won't eat itself (1-306): I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina http://tfl.nu/x3in
  Replies (16) Good night (623) Bad night (1823)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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  (609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf
  Replies (6) Good night (2080) Bad night (1028)
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  (310): View more from California

  Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?

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  (310): Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end? http://tfl.nu/mjc4
  Replies (3) Good night (1789) Bad night (535)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?

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  (919): Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight? http://tfl.nu/hr5u
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (413)
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  (619): View more from California

  According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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  (619): According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night. http://tfl.nu/q1q9
  Replies (2) Good night (780) Bad night (374)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I almost tased myself

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I dont think you should own that device.

  (563): View more from Iowa

  It's an awesome device. I love this device.

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  (563): I almost tased myself (1-563): I dont think you should own that device. (563): It's an awesome device. I love this device. http://tfl.nu/0r8c
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (232)

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