I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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