so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
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I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.