My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.