Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.

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  (215): i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies. http://tfl.nu/atqm
  Replies (8) Good night (1849) Bad night (1178)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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  (706): yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning http://tfl.nu/1trw
  Replies (38) Good night (1273) Bad night (7959)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???

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  (248): He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2??? http://tfl.nu/dt4w
  Replies (51) Good night (5900) Bad night (994)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix

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  (803): I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix http://tfl.nu/tcv4
  Replies (35) Good night (7626) Bad night (1376)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?

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  (513): Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/gja3
  Replies (14) Good night (1490) Bad night (4649)
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  (408): View more from California

  Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

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  (408): Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick. http://tfl.nu/f6ps
  Replies (8) Good night (1033) Bad night (2349)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

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  (402): Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business. http://tfl.nu/965c
  Replies (14) Good night (983) Bad night (3035)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.

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  (561): If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/hkz1
  Replies (3) Good night (1740) Bad night (757)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

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  (519): My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!! http://tfl.nu/hi1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (651)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion

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  (206): So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion http://tfl.nu/7dgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1591) Bad night (815)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.

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  (609): I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/8ezs
  Replies (11) Good night (1226) Bad night (486)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time

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  (306): I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time http://tfl.nu/lht5
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (317)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.

  (936): View more from Texas

  I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.

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  (713): So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY. (936): I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating. http://tfl.nu/ukan
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (431)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls

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  (908): Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls http://tfl.nu/2qe0
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (632)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex

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  (410): I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex http://tfl.nu/t4yi
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (274)

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