dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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