I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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