Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
